Positive Coaching
– Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter http://www.DrJoAnn.comCoaches need to read their athletes correctly and understand them for who they are.
Unless you’re a competitive athlete, chances are you have not had a “coach” since high school PE class. But you have probably had a boss, a neighbor, or a parent who made a big impression on you. Was that impression positive or negative? What about their interaction with you made it positive or negative? Would you have wanted it to be different? What would you do differently if you were in that position?
Coaching in sports is a complicated relationship. While the coach expects the athlete to put their best efforts into whatever they are doing, they need to be careful not to put too much pressure on the athlete who is simply unable to reach certain goals. Conversely, it is important that the coach not overlook areas that can be improved. The risk is that the athlete will either give up for lack of confidence, or not try their best for lack of motivation. But it cannot be JUST about winning, it must also be about personal achievement.
The things that frustrate athletes about their coaches are often when frustrates the rest of us about our boss, our mate, our friends, or co-workers. Here are a few examples:
- An atmosphere of continuous negativity
- Not being listened to
- Receiving criticism that is not constructive
- Being singled out as the cause of a group’s failure
- Seeing other “star” performers getting all the attention
- Not being appreciated for hard work and extra effort
- Not being allowed to adequately rest
- Feeling constant pressure to perform
A life coach or personal coach is someone who will work with you to help you discover and achieve your goals. When looking for a life coach you will want to consider a few important points:
- A coach needs to be willing to let the client determine the outcome they want while the coach remains unattached to the outcome
- A coach should listen to the client carefully and take hold of key words and phrases that will help the client see themselves more clearly and make the changes they want
- The client is responsible for putting the required effort into their own life, while the coach is responsible for helping the client to discover their creativity and ability to make changes
- The coach is responsible for keeping the client accountable, but not for making the client feel guilty
- The coach is there to support the client, but not to “baby” them
- The coach should make requests that stretch the client to go beyond their limiting self-beliefs, but not make demands that create anxiety
- The coach should believe in the client and tell them so regularly, or the client should find a different coach
Sports can be a great learning tool for life by providing lessons in positive self-image, hard work, and goal setting. But even those of us who do not participate in competitive sports can benefit from good coaching. Virtually everyone wants to know that someone is on their side no matter what.
Sue Hasker
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